You know those tough situations that you go through and you aren’t sure what to do until 30 minutes later and a quote or an article pops up as if God was speaking to you. Well, that’s what happened with this quote and as simple as it is, it spoke to me on a big level. I shared it on Facebook and so many people liked it or commented on it agreeing with it. This post may get a little deep but sometimes in order to move forward we need to face what is going on inside of us and deal with it.
As many of you know, I didn’t just want to become healthy for the sake of it. I had health issues that led to me making healthier food choices. Not only did it happen to me, but I had a lot of close friends and family go through things as well that seemed uncontrollable. Yes, life is tough but it’s not about what happens to us that defines us, it’s how we deal with it.
Growing up, my Dad always taught me that you have to make mistakes in order to learn and grow, but the key is to never make the same mistake twice. You must learn from you mistake and move on. It sounds so simple right? But it isn’t. Sometimes we do not know how to cope with mistakes, failures, setbacks, or even losses. Sometimes we do not want to face what has happened, so we bury ourselves into work, food, drugs, or alcohol. And every time those emotions pop up we keep pushing it down with whatever it is that makes us feel like its ok. But the truth is, not dealing with the pain, or mistake can do so much more harm to our body than chemicals, or processed food.
Making healthy choices is not just about making healthy food choices, it’s also about making healthy choices for our heart and soul. It’s ok to feel sad, mad, upset, frustrated, or stressed but to let it control us is not healthy. You see, when we let those emotions control us, we tend to either push it down or push it onto other people and most of the time those people that we push it onto, are people we love and care for the most.
When I first became a trainer, I didn’t realize that not only was I helping people get into shape, I was also their way of relieving stress. I’m not just talking about getting a good sweat on, I am talking about my clients letting out whatever was on their mind and I tried my best to help them through it, but what I was unaware of, was that I was absorbing that negative, or sad energy and caring it with me. It got to the point where I started being really irritated at home and when my husband brought it to my attention, I felt terrible! He knew that it wasn’t me to act like that, so he helped me through it and helped me learn how to bounce that energy off of me, so I wouldn’t take it home with me or carry it around. I am extremely lucky to have someone like my husband in my life to help me realize what I am doing, like carrying negative energy around but it wasn’t him that made it better. It was the fact that I was able to accept that how I was acting was not ok and recognized that it was toxic, so because of that, I was able to fix it. I was open to listen to someone I deeply care about tell me how I was affecting them. Together we figured out a way for me to fix it.
This may seem like a it is not a big deal but to me it was. You see, I have a very strong personality. An attitude as you will. Ever since I can remember, my parents have been getting onto me about my own attitude. Most of the times I never thought I was having an attitude, but it wasn’t what I was saying, it was how I was saying it. I have noticed a lot lately that conflict doesn’t come from what was actually said, it’s how it was said. Everyone receives things differently or has different point of views. Not everyone is going to see the way you do or know what you are going through. You can’t control what other people say or do but what you can control is how you react to situations and control what you say/do. Sometimes what we say, may be received in a different perspective and if we assume that the other person should just know what you meant, well my friend, this is where conflict happens. It’s no one’s fault, it just means that everyone thinks differently and if you try to understand someone else’s point of view, situations won’t be so frustrating.
Having a strong personality comes with having this pride that can sometimes, well…. Come off as a little bitchy. But more than likely, I am not trying to be. It just means I am stubborn and don’t like to do wrong, so I can make comments that are unnecessary and can be hurtful. However, with me knowing this about myself, I have been trying and will always be trying to make sure what I say or do comes off in a positive way and not offensive to my loved ones.
No one is perfect. But that doesn’t mean we stop trying on making ourselves better and we can make ourselves better without facing our issues first. It really isn’t that bad I promise. It’s almost like a relief being lifted off our shoulders once you face them and move on. The only thing is once you face those issues, you can use them as an excuse to get away with things either. You have to truly want to better yourself.
A good tip I have found that works with me is to try to find the positive in every situation. There is always a plus side to a negative. I know, its cliché and can be hard to do but it’s all about perspective. It makes those bad days, not seem so bad. Identify the problem, take a deep breath, and figure out how you are going to fix that problem.
Working on yourself will be never ending because, well, life happens. Life isn’t perfect, and neither are we, but it’s how we look at life and how we deal with what is thrown at us will determine our own happiness.